The Companion
by EldarExilePrincess
Summary: Carlisle struggles with his most basic nature: that he is a lone man. Will he be able to find a companion to quench his need, or must he live with Edward and remain alone?


**Alone**

I was alone…there was no denying this singular fact of my existence. I dared not say "my life", as I had quite strong impressions about this subject. The newest impression being that it was not quite "my life" and my own existence day after day—I had someone now—yet I was still alone. I had taken matters into my own hands; there was nothing that could cure my loneliness except companionship…

I looked up from the scattered sheets of reports strewn across my desk; I could hear footsteps, uncharacteristically loud even from where I sat and listened. Much could be told only from the sound of someone's steps. I closed my eyes, a slight smile begun to form. Tonight he was happy; apparently he had gone off to see his mistress and everything had gone as he had hoped. There was a light spring in his step too, which he was trying to hide. I shook my head warily; relieved only that I was going home. Home…here was such a fickle word as well. I was unsure of my last true feeling of home…

An image of a dark dirty city, an ancient medieval city, surrounded by water, rose into my thoughts…

"Ah Carlisle, how bad was it tonight?"

He had reached me; I had been so lost in my reverie that I did not notice how audible his steps were. I opened my eyes bleakly, noticing the way he leaned on the door, smirking down upon me. How vile…

"A few cases of drunken gun fights…" I trailed off, suddenly quite exhausted.

In the moment it took for him to sneeze, I had cleared the scattered report sheets back into their folder, all the pages correctly positioned. When his eyes opened, I handed him the folder wordlessly. The smirk had returned with greater gusto, and knowing what was to come next, I reached for my trench coat and hat. I sensed the disappointment in him with a satisfaction. He had not noticed that only a moment before the desk was littered with the very papers in the folder that I now shoved into his hands. He never recognized the details in life that he should notice, whether it was his personal or professional life. Any other person would have eventually noticed that the papers were gone in a split instant, that no person could have done away with them. But not him. It was almost as if he were a zombie…

"You look like shit," he said as I passed him on my way out through the door.

I paused momentarily, glancing at him with a half smile. He continued his sickening smirk.

"Do I?" I said, trying to keep my cool with this vile creature. "It has been a long night, no sleep…"

The first was a blatant lie while the second statement was true…I do not sleep at all, not in the longest while now; oblivion would be welcome to me now….

"Then you should sleep tonight, the sleep of the dead." And he gave a short sharp laugh.

My lip curled upwards; the only noticeable sign of the beginning of my loss of control. But of course, as per his usual demeanor, he continued to be blind of this fact, aware of only himself. I had never felt the urge to kill him out of sheer impulse as I did now; why should he live? It would be over quick; he would not even notice…not until he was dead…"the sleep of the dead" to be exact.

"_Never felt the urge to kill out of sheer impulse? What a statement…"_

The voice in my head was chuckling now; I ignored it for the moment.

"Yes, I should very well like to do just that, sleep like the dead," I shot back.

For a moment he looked at me, and I wondered if he had gleaned anything at all from that statement.

"_Sleep like the dead? How could you sleep if you are dead Dr. Cullen? Please, please, tell me how?"_

I massaged my temples, my temper starting to rise slightly.

"You should tell your wife; she will forgive you." I said, looking him straight in the eyes.

His jaw dropped open.

"How did you know?" he whispered.

"It is written all over you. Do you think she will not notice? That no one will? Especially after your drunken night yesterday. She is a fine lady, a fine wife; do not do this to her, to the baby."

There was fear in his eyes, replaced by a new emotion now.

"How would you know how fine she is? Have you been fucking her?" he spat.

My patience was wearing thin with this man. There was nothing on earth that could stop me from this moment, from the thought that raced through my mind now.

The voice returned, sarcastically.

"_Oooh thinking of killing are we now? Not the kind noble righteous Dr. Cullen?"_

"Only a cheater would call everyone else cheaters, because that is all he knows." I said, staring straight at him. "You are a disgrace to humanity; to everything that is beautiful about being a man. You have a caring faithful wife, yet you sneak behind her back to fulfill your carnal desires. Wake up, wake up, for you are dead to this world and everything that it holds."

They were both silent now: the voice in my head, and this pathetic vile spec of a man. My mind was racing now, the urge to kill stronger. My eyes had darkened dramatically within the past few minutes; I needed to leave immediately before matters were out of my hands.

"Have a pleasant night," I said, my voice icy now, snapping the door behind me shut.

I heard him jump, with satisfaction, as I flew down the halls and out to my car. No one noticed me; I was much quicker than their mortal eyes and senses could handle. All they noticed of me was the slight breeze that ruffled behind me, scattering their papers on the floor. They shivered despite themselves.

I honked my car horn at the group of doctors huddled outside the hospital doors, exchanging the last few words before they went home. They smiled suddenly, despite the haggard looks on their faces. I floored the gas pedal and raced out of the parking lot, out onto the streets. My thirst had grown; I had to leave the town behind me. Everything seemed tight; I reached down to my tie and ripped it off. I quickly loosened my shirt buttons. I let my senses take control; I was safe from the people now.

There was a thump beside me as the passenger door opened and closed almost instantly.

"I was waiting; why the hell did you waste your time with him?"

The words were spoken in a low growl.

"Good evening, Edward." I replied, and a soft hiss escaped my lips.

"Hungry are we?" he teased.

My head snapped in his direction. He quieted.

The car was racing wildly up the mountain road now, the wind whistling through our hair. I nodded at him, and we switched places as we rounded a dangerous curve, laughing incredulously as the tires rounded smoothly at the last moment. As Edward drove, I focused on the hunt. He pointed at the spot we visited last week, and I nodded. It would have to be further so as to not draw attention. The car would not go as fast as we wanted, nor would it go where we needed to be. We would have to leave from the house; as always. We preferred it that way anyway.

"What did you do today?" I asked Edward.

"Slept." He replied with a bark, and we both laughed so hard tears were running down our faces as we pulled into the driveway.

"I was scouting out potential spots, tracking a herd. "

I smiled at him.

"Very well, lead on. Tonight you are the leader. I will assist when you need it." I said.

He nodded. We stripped ourselves of clothing, leaving only our pants. I recalled the first time I was instructing Edward, and he was worried about his feet. He wanted his shoes on. I stole a glance at his feet, and they were bare. He grinned at me.

"Learned that the hard way, and let me emphasize _hard_."

I ruffled his hair, remembering how the laces had caught on a twig, and he had been snagged, thrown against a massive boulder. I had to wait several minutes for him as he sat there dazed; the boulder had been dislodged from its original location to a few feet behind us. Edward's shoulder imprint left on the boulder was the only testimony to the events; to which a geologist would mostly likely ascribe to the elements. I smiled at the thought, the elements…how naïve humans could be!

Edward went stiff suddenly as the wind blew past us. I sniffed the air delicately.

"Which direction?" I asked. "And how many?"

I heard his growl halfway down the glade; I let a few moments pass by before I joined him. Then he was silent. Something was wrong. He was never quiet when he hunted.

I caught up to him at the bottom of the hill, where he was hiding behind bushes. There was a campsite a hundred feet before us. His eyes were trained on the people huddled beside the fire. For a moment I forgot about the herd we were chasing; all I could see were the people. Their necks were bared, and I traced the curves, letting my eyes find the jugulars. I could feel the blood pulsing beneath their skin. A low growl escaped me, and their laughter stopped. Their fear coursed through the wind and I closed my eyes tightly; nothing could excite us more than the smell of fear in a hunt. Edward sat crouched, ready to pounce. I grabbed him around his waist, and he snarled at me. I started to drag him away, but he dug his heels in, clawing wildly at my face. We were so consumed in our fight, our growls growing rowdier, that we did not notice the bullets until almost too late.

"I apologize."

We were running from branch to branch, high up in the trees, the campsite out of sight now. We paused momentarily, and I turned to look at him.

"It takes time; you are getting better. I am glad I arrived when I did." I told him, patting him on the back.

He pointed to the ground several hundred feet below us. The moon shone at that point; the herd we were hunting was at the edge of the lake. I could see their tongues lapping up the cool water greedily. The time had come. I closed my eyes, letting myself fall into my senses. When I opened my eyes the world seemed sharper, every detail more defined, every sound more audible. Edward and I crouched together, side by side, at the edge of a frail branch. If two humans stood where we were, they would have plunged to their deaths. The moonlight was behind us now, and if we had shadows, they would have fallen over the herd. The deer sensed our presence, and their fear coursed through the air, onto our tongues. I could almost smell their blood now. We waited, watching as they turned to flee, their white tales flashing in warning. They fled through the forest, forming a single unit. The mothers and fawns in the middle, the bucks on the outside. Finally, when they were out of sight, Edward and I nodded at each other. My thirst was undeniable. I let out such a howl that Edward backed a few paces away; he had never seen me like this before. My teeth were bared as I walked further to the edge, Edward following behind. At the last instant we jumped, and the branch acted like a spring, propelling us into the sky. We aligned ourselves, preparing for the landing, the catch. The herd sensed us, and their fear turned to panic: they split, running hither and thither. I locked my eyes onto the largest buck as my feet hit the forest floor. My buck let out a yelp, increasing his speed. The rest of the herd veered away, yet I drove him onwards. The buck threw himself over the edge of the cliff; I followed, sinking my teeth into his throat as we fell downwards. He let out a bray, and I hugged him closer to my body, feeling his warm blood wash into my mouth. It felt so good to be feeding, and I threw myself into him ravenously, gnashing his throat apart. I held him above my head, watching as the blood dripped deep maroon rubies on my tongue. I heard the roar of the waterfall as I landed atop a fallen log, keeping perfect balance on the slick algae strewn surface, still feeding. He was motionless now, the last embers of his life being sucked away, quenching my hunger-thirst. I felt complete, wholesome, almost human, if ever I could feel that again. Edward whistled down to me from the cliff, and I caught the two other bucks he threw to me. I tossed my catch into the waterfall. Another victim attributed to bears.

It was only moments like these, intimate moments, when I felt content with myself; that I am a vampire.

Edward joined me soon afterwards, and we fed together side by side, father and son of sorts. I watched him closely, noticing how at peace he appeared now that he was feeding. Within myself I also felt at ease, more content with the world. I let out a long sigh, feeling my hunger slowly recede. Edward looked up curiously from his buck, his teeth dripping red. He eyed the third buck hungrily. I nodded at him, and he smiled, throwing his already drained meal into the lake. We watched it sore through the air and land in the middle of the lake, splashing solidly into the black waters.

"I am going to take a little walk, I shall return shortly." I said, rising to my feet slowly. "First, a swim."

He said nothing, still feeding.

I turned my back towards him, keeping my eyes on the spot where he had thrown the buck. I raised my hands above me straightly, keeping my body in such perfect alignment any professional swimmer would envy. I closed my eyes, relying on my senses, and dove into the water. I felt the water envelope me into its bosom, and I opened my eyes as I swam underwater. Fish scattered away from me, sensing my otherness. I reached the spot where the buck had been thrown, and looked down to watch its carcass sink slowly. Its eyes, not closed, were wide with fear. Its neck was askew, yet not a single drop of blood leaked; Edward had done a thorough job of that. In some ways he did not change; he was still hungry as any adolescent human boy would be. I smiled and swam onwards until I decided to surface. Edward waved at me from afar, still feeding. I returned the gesture as I climbed ashore.

How I loved the boy, loved him like he was truly my own son, and I was glad for his company. His progression had improved, yet there were still times when he could not contain himself. Tonight by the camp site was one such an occasion. If I had not arrived when I did, I shuddered to think what I would have found. And what I would have done—about myself I was not concerned. I had trained myself long ago to be immune to the smell and sight of blood. It was a necessity, given my profession. Since his arrival he kept me company, especially during the early days, when he was still new. I am quite thankful to him for that; I had been alone for many centuries now. Yet despite him, despite everything we did together, I could not help but feel alone. It was not because I was a lone vampire, Edward saw to that. No, it was something much deeper, something that went further than my vampire nature, something basic, essential, and elemental: I am a man. Vampire or not, I am a man.

A lone man, and my undying burning need for companionship.


End file.
